My Journey

It's been a while since I've updated my blog; apologies. Not only have I updated the content, but I've also improved the design and layout. The previous version was built on Adobe Flash technology which was nothing but a nuisance for everyone. So welcome to my new and improved site and thanks for your patience. Now you can log in and follow updates in real time.

Before I dive in, let me say a huge thank you to everyone who has sent me emails of encouragement and support. Your messages and prayers are very much appreciated, and give me much strength on difficult days (keep em comin). And difficult days have been plenty lately, I'm sorry to report.

After a series of issues, red flags and general concerns, I terminated my relationship with my Surrogate Agency in Los Angeles at the end of January. In tandem, the trip Carolyn and I had painstakingly planned and scheduled was cancelled. So instead of packing for sunny California this evening, I'm writing this update (which does have a happy ending). I don't want to go into all the details over the termination of my previous agency, but let's just say they dropped the ball on several important commitments and promises. I was warned by many that this process would be an emotional roller coaster with many ups and downs...boy were they right! On a positive note, I'm thankful to have identified the concerns with the team in L.A. early in the process, rather than later when more time, emotional and financial investment had been made.

Now...onto the good news...

I've found a new IVF Clinic, not an agency, but an actual clinic where I have direct access to the Fertility Doctor and her team of specialists (no more agencies). The clinic specializes in IVF treatment and is an affiliate of the Johns Hopkins network of hospitals. The clinic is based in Panama City and is comprised of a number of medical doctors with extensive experience in fertility and IVF procedures. My doctor studied Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of California, where she graduated in 1999. In 2005 she also completed specialty training in Reproductive Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine. And in 2006, completed a fellowship at Stanford University in In Vitro Fertilization laboratory and embryology. Suffice to say, I am dealing directly with an expert team, which gives me great hope and a strong feeling of reassurance.

In addition to clinical services, the hospital in Panama also provides access to a database of egg donors and surrogates. Why Panama you ask? They have leading-edge IVF technology and expertise, which is available at a fraction of the cost of similar services here in the U.S. Just to give you some perspective, the cost of this procedure in the U.S. (given my scenario) is approximately $160,000 - $200,000. Panama is roughly half that amount, which is why so many Canadians and Americans are seeking fertility treatment abroad. Again, we can never put a price on the life of our child, but unfortunately we all have limitations when it comes to budget.

In 4 short weeks, I've had extensive conversation with my doctor, Sindy. Our initial conference call lasted nearly 2 hours during which time we conducted personal interviews of one another. Unlike my previous agency, Sindy was very forthcoming with information, including potential risks associated with the entire process. Her goal is to help me create and then deliver a healthy child. She was very clear about that. Not once during our conversation did she mention fees, invoices or payment terms. The entire team in Panama seems very much committed to my needs and the healthcare of everyone involved in My Journey.

In late January, I was fortunate enough to befriend a member of a gay couple in Calgary who have been working with Sindy and her team for several months. Their reference and endorsement was very positive, and I'm happy to report that they celebrated Week 13 of their pregnancy this week. In a very short time, we've become cyber-confidants and friends, for which I'm grateful and gain much strength. Having support of others who have been through this process is a tremendous advantage, and hearing stories about the development and health of their unborn child gives me additional confidence in Sindy and her team.

With that said, I've chosen an amazing young woman as an egg donor and will soon commence the IVF process using her donated eggs and my sperm to create embryos for transfer to a Surrogate. For privacy reasons, I can share limited information about my donor. But I can assure you that she's very healthy, well-educated, has an above average IQ and is emotionally and psychologically stable. I've received medical records and official test scores to validate all of her personal information, including a detailed genetic profile. She's a native of Colombia, so physically, she is very attractive with dark hair and a beautiful complexion. More importantly, she has donated her eggs on 3 prior occasions, resulting in 2 pregnancies and 2 healthy babies. I feel fortunate to have found her.

With respect to the Surrogate, the process and laws in Panama are very different than here in the U.S. The doctors in Panama are responsible for recruiting the Surrogate. Naturally, there are a series of medical guidelines and tests that they must adhere to when selecting a Surrogate, but ultimately recruitment and selection is their responsibility. I will have the opportunity to meet my Surrogate, but not until our first ultrasound (fingers crossed). If the embryo transfer results in a successful pregnancy, I am legally able, welcome and encouraged to attend any ultrasound appointment. And as previously discussed, I would be present for a scheduled c-section at 37 weeks, unless of course there should happen to be multiple births (e.g. twins)! But I shouldn't get ahead of myself.

Next step in the process is a trip to Boston in early April where I will spend a week working with one of the leading fertility specialists in the United States. Over the course of 5 days, I will have 3 visits to the doctor where they will collect my sperm for analysis, sperm selection and cyropreservation. Essentially they will take 3 sperm samples from which they will genetically select the best quality of sperm and then freeze them. The frozen sperm will be carefully placed in a special....we'll call it "cooler" for international shipping to Panama. I could travel to Panama for this procedure, but the doctors in Boston are some of the best in the world at selecting sperm. To give you some perspective, I have roughly 87 million sperm to chose from; some are very high quality, others not so much. Using advanced technology, the doctors in Boston will isolate and select the best sperm for use in the IVF process. And while there are no guarantees for successful fertilization and pregnancy, this procedure will increase the probability significantly. Isn't technology amazing?!

Based on a conversation with my doctor in Panama today, IVF could be attempted as soon as May 1st. Suffice to say, I'm very pleased with the progress made in 4 short weeks, and look forward to reporting more success stories in the weeks and months to come. Thanks for tuning in...plenty more Baby Steps to come.