My Journey

As previously posted, this entire process is quite complex, and while I'm certainly not an expert, I will attempt to break it down given my experience and knowledge to date. Having successfully selected a Surrogate Agency, my journey now takes a huge leap forward. In chronological order (and to the best of my knowledge), the process looks something like this. STEP: 1) Male Fertility Examination 2) Egg Donor Selection 3) Surrogate Selection 4) Fertility Treatment for Egg Donor 5) IVF 6) Fertility Treatment for Surrogate 7)Transfer of Embryos to Surrogate 8) Confirmed Pregnancy and 9) Labor and Delivery by Scheduled C-Section at 37 Weeks (unless there are multiple births)!

On January 9th, I underwent my Male Fertility Exam at the University of Washington Male Fertility Clinic. Quite an experience! The primary purpose of this exam was to complete a detailed analysis of my sperm to assess overall fertility. After registration and 30 minutes in the waiting room, I was lead down a long corridor by my nurse, where we eventually entered a very normal looking and sterile examination room; “normal”, all except for the TV, DVD Player and selection of reading material. After some brief instruction, the nurse handed me a copy of Hustler magazine and the remote control for the TV/DVD player, and wished me luck. “Hustler”, I thought….“Clearly they don’t know their clientele”! Anyway, we'll fast forward through the detail, but suffice to say, I had a successful first exam, and preliminary results are normal with a brief follow-up visit scheduled for later next month.

In tandem with my Fertility Exam, I've been working with my agency to review potential egg donor profiles. While this exercise is completed mainly online, I can assure you it is not an “online shopping” experience. Each potential egg donor is processed through a very thorough psychological and physical exam, including family medical history and substance testing. The amount of data published about each potential donor is staggering. From eye color, to height, weight, education, complete medical history and favorite foods, etc., no stone is left unturned. Of course, the identity of the women is strictly anonymous, with the exception of photos and a first name. And while contact with the egg donor is managed strictly by the agency, some egg donors will agree to meet with a prospective parent(s). I mention this because it is my intention to follow this process.

Every individual in search of an egg donor has a number of criteria they wish to review. And while every case is unique and deeply personal, I intend to base my decision on the following: age, medical history, proven fertility (if applicable), current health status, education and ethnicity. I do realize that this process is viewed by many as controversial, but at the end of the day, I have to select a single egg donor and I intend to do so based on criteria that are most important to me. But how can one decide from an online profile alone? I can't! Which is why I am flying to Los Angeles the first weekend of March to meet two (and possibly a third) egg donors whom I've pre-selected to interview. Our meetings were finally confirmed last night, which is my exciting news for this week (I've been waiting for 4 weeks)!!!! The other important and exciting component to this trip is that one of my best friends in the world will be joining me from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Carolyn Townsend has graciously agreed to take time away from work, her husband and two small children to support me through this process. I know Carolyn will be of great support and will help ensure that I don't make a decision based on emotion, but rather one based on fact. What a tremendous gift this will be to have my “bestie” by my side!

In LA, Carolyn and I will have an opportunity to meet each potential donor in an informal and casual setting. Our meeting will be just as important to the egg donor, as it is to me. And at the end of the day, she is under no contractual obligation to enter into an agreement with me. In fact, if she is not 100% comfortable donating her eggs to me, that is her right, which I will naturally respect. So while there are no guarantees on the outcome of our trip, it is another Baby Step in my journey to parenthood and one that I am very excited about!