1 Week Old, ALREADY!!

I am "starting" this blog entry on Tuesday, March 12th, 2013. I highlight "start" because I suspect it will take me some time to articulate my thoughts over what has been, without a doubt, the greatest week of my life. It's 6:32am and in roughly 15 hours, Blythe will be 1 week old. I still can't believe it. Where do I begin?

For years, I've heard people say there is no deeper or greater love than that which you will experience for your own child. That my friends, it a complete and total understatement! Words can't even begin to express how much love fills my heart and soul today. As I sit here and watch her tiny chest rise and fall with every breath, my love only grows stronger. I can stare at her for hours on end, which often results in tears of joy. I honestly feel like the luckiest man alive and haven't taken a single moment of the last week for granted, nor will I in the future.

Since Blythe's birth, I have literally received hundreds of emails, calls and messages of congratulations. I have saved everyone possible and will cherish them forever; thank you all so very much. At times, the support has been overwhelming and I can assure you that my little girl will always know how many people were behind the scenes rooting for her and supporting her Dad. Seriously, thank you all! Yesterday I received a very special email from an old childhood friend back on Prince Edward Island. It really touched my heart and I would like to share it:

Rob,

Congratulations on the birth of Blythe, she is so precious and is lucky to have a great Dad like you. My husband and I weren't as blessed. I am unable to have any children but it makes my heart fill with joy to see that you have been blessed with a beautiful little girl. I can see it in your eyes that you are truly content and will be an excellent father.

All the best to both you and I would love to meet her when you come home to PEI.
Lots of love
J.

All I can say, is that "J" is right, I am blessed, that I know for certain, and as I said earlier, I will never take a single moment of my life with Blythe for granted. I made both myself and Blythe that promise last Tuesday night at 9:12pm.

For some people, the day their child is born can sometimes be a blurr. While it seems like yesterday and still all somewhat of a dream, I did capture as many images and thoughts as humanly possible...

My day started at 5:30am. Since I arrived in Panama City on March 1st, I had been averaging only 4 hours of sleep per night in anticipation. The night of the 4th was no different. I rose at 5:30am, made coffee and sat on the balcony watching the sun rise over the Bay of Panama and the Pacific Ocean. The sky was the prettiest shade of pink and right then and there I knew this day would be amazing (see image below)! 

I spent the day trying to relax. I read, skyped with family, wrote in my journal, cleaned, cleaned, and cleaned, followed by 2 or 3 hot showers. I met my doctor and attorney at 2pm to review and sign some final documents and made a quick trip to the mall for a late lunch/early dinner. By 7:30pm I was ready to go...just one more hot shower and I was all set! I arrived at the hospital around 7:45pm and waited in Dr. Vega's office while he finished with his last patient of the day. Around 8:15pm Dr. Vega, his nurse and I walked to the O/R where we changed and scrubbed in. Once we were ready, Dr. Vega's nurse led me to the pre-op room where Margarita was resting. She looked nervous, which instantly scared me. I said hello, asked her how she was feeling and she told me she was nervous but assured me that she would be okay. She told me the baby was kicking up a storm. She then grabbed my hand, squeezed hard and gave me a reassuring look that everything would be fine. After a quick rub of her belly and a kiss to her forehead, she was wheeled into the O/R.

At 9pm, the O/R nurse escorted me into the O/R. There were 7 people in attendance, plus myself. Dr. Vega performed the surgery. I sat next to Margarita trembling in response to every single beep from the adjacent heart and fetal monitors. The surgery itself was, let's just say, fascinating! Around 9:10pm Dr. Vega asked me if I was ready to meet my baby. He told me that he was close to securing her head and that I should get ready. Armed with my camera and video recorder, I inched myself closer to Margarita's side. At this time, Dr. Vega and the other doctor assisting with the surgery were aggressively working the baby's head out through the incision. I was surprised how aggressive they were and asked them to be careful. And then all of a sudden, out came this tiny head. I froze as Dr. Vega expelled the first bit of fluid from her month. At this time, she still wasn't making a sound so I was nervous, but then literally 15 seconds later out she came and the room erupted in cheers as she screamed with life celebrating her first few breaths. It was without a doubt, the most beautiful moment of my life. I wept with joy.

Immediately following the delivery, Dr. Abbott (our Pediatrician) and her nurse took over, cleaning the baby and performing a series of Apgar tests. Dr. Abbott assured me Blythe was perfect, which was quickly confirmed by her test results...a 9, followed by a perfect 10. Suffice to say, I was thrilled and for the first time in 9 months, I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. After some final cleaning, I cut the umbilical chord and said good-bye to Margarita, who was now resting comfortably. Dr. Abbott, her nurse and I took Blythe to the  nursery, where she spent the next hour in an incubator being warmed. This was standard procedure prior to her first round of shots, bath and feeding. I stayed by her side and called my family with the happy news. It was truly an amazing night and one that I will never ever forget!

At 7 days old, Blythe is thriving at home with her Dad and Auntie Michelle. Her stay in the hospital nursery was uneventful thanks to the wonderful care we received, especially from our lead nurse, Kimberley! We met lots of other parents, babies and families, a few whom even share our same story (I will share those experiences later). Now, it's back to regular feedings, diaper changes, cuddles and the administration of a ton of paperwork, processes and red-tape that is critical to our return home to Seattle.

With love from the Simpson family...(I love saying that)
Rob & Blythe

 

Beautiful pink sun rise on the day my sweet daughter was born.

Blythe Kimberley Simpson

Week 39 - 24 Hours to Go!

With a little over 24 hours to go before delivery, my heart is racing with excitement and anticipation. It seems like just yesterday that I was researching the world of surrogacy for answers on how it might help me realize my dream of becoming a father and starting a family. It is now 18 months later, and I still can't believe that the greatest event of my life is just hours away. I'm so happy and feeling incredibly blessed.

I arrived in Panama on Friday night after a long and very turbulent trip from Seattle. Fortunately, I had interesting conversation with the person sitting next to me on both flights which helped pass the time. On the flight from Houston to Panama City, I sat next to a very nice woman from Colorado (we'll call her Linda). Linda and her husband (both in their early 70s) were traveling to Panama for an eco-excursion along the Panama Canal (he was sitting in coach, and she was upgraded to first class so I didn't meet him, but he sounded like a nice chap). Anyway, they are avid travelers and outdoor enthusiasts, so she had lots of interesting stories to share about their life together (like their recent trip across the North Atlantic on a freighter that sailed from Amsterdam to Duluth, MN). Seriously, this couple were up for anything!

In addition to our travel logs, we exchanged other stories about this great journey called life. I shared my experience of becoming a Dad, and surprisingly, she didn't flinch. Not that she should, but for someone of her generation, she was very current and refreshingly liberal, but there's more to this story, which is why I chose to share it.

Back in Colorado, Linda comes from a large family of brothers and sisters, many of whom have children, so there are countless nieces and nephews (sounds familiar). Anyway, she shared two stories. The first story was about her 48 year old niece, we'll call her Heather. Heather is a lesbian and has an adopted daughter from Thailand who is now 8 years old (adopted at 6 months). Both Heather and her daughter are great, but struggle in their relationship with Heather's 99 year old mother. When Heather came out at the age of 25, her mother never accepted her and asked her how she could make such a poor decision to be gay. Heather tried to explain that being gay wasn't a decision or a choice she made, it was simply how she was born. Her Mom didn't buy it and for 20+ years she has failed to accept Heather, which has driven a deep wedge in their relationship. And unfortunately, Heather's daughter has never had the opportunity to meet the only grandparent in her life. This made me sad.

Then there is Linda's 23 year old nephew, we'll call him Donald. Since he was a teenager, Donald had been bullied back in small town, Colorado. Shunned by his peers and labeled an outcast by his community for being different, Donald resorted to drugs to escape the brutal reality of being gay. After an unsuccessful stint in rehab, Donald took his own life 6 weeks ago. This made me even more sad.

Suffice to say, Linda has seen firsthand why acceptance in life is so important. I guess that is why my story simply didn't faze her one bit. When we disembarked in Panama, Linda tipped her hat and wished me well. And then I thought...

If there is one lesson in life that I intend to instill in my little girl, it is acceptance. She will learn to accept everyone around her, regardless of the color of their skin, the religion they practise, or their sexuality. And she will grow up in a home where it is okay just to be yourself, for that is good enough. I will teach her to dream big and live life to the fullest, chasing her heart's greatest desires. Tomorrow her journey begins and I couldn't be more proud.

Thanks to everyone who has stood by me on this journey. Your love and support continues to inspire me.

~Rob

Week 36 - Delivery Date Confirmed!

On Wednesday of this week, we reached the Week 36 milestone. Margarita (my surrogate) had a manual examination this morning and both she and the baby are doing great. The baby has moved to the head down position and continues to maintain a strong and steady heartbeat. At 36 weeks, the baby is gaining weight at the rate of about an ounce per day. She now weighs approximately 6 pounds. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath.

At the end of this week (Wednesday, February 20th), the baby will be considered full-term. And today, Dr. Vega confirmed that the delivery (via a cesarean section) will take place on the evening of Tuesday, March 5th. I will be in the O/R for the procedure and will assume sole custody and responsibility for the baby once she is born (with support from my pediatrician and nursing staff). Following the delivery, the baby will remain in the hospital nursery for approximately 72 hours (or 3 days). Her release date is dependent upon the release date of my surrogate. Under Panamanian law, the baby cannot be released from the hospital until the surrogate is discharged.

During her stay in the nursery, I will have access to the baby for several hours per day for feedings, visitation, general care and cuddles. Naturally, it would be nice to take her home within 24 hours, just as the process here in the US or Canada dictates, but I'm actually feeling comfortable and appreciative that she will spend her first 3 days under the watchful eye and care of the nursery staff and my pediatrician. I'm not at all nervous about taking her home, but I believe a little extra time in the nursery will help give me the added confidence and peace of mind for when I finally do. And what a truly amazing day that will be! I'm emotional just thinking about it and so VERY excited!!! I'm also especially grateful for Michelle (Saulnier) Blankenship, who will be by our side for the trip home and our 1st week as a family.

Earlier this evening, my colleagues at work hosted a second baby shower. I received lots of beautiful gifts for my little girl in addition to the most amazing outpouring of support! We had lots of fun sharing stories and child experiences, in addition to a little fun where the team tried to guess the baby's name. However, I didn't relinquish from my position, as I am waiting to share her name on her birthday. This evening was a great way to end Week 36. As always, I am beyond grateful for the love and support from so many. The celebration this evening was incredibly special and once again reminds me how fortunate I am!

18 days and counting...

Carolina, Juli and I @ tonight's Baby Shower admiring the beautiful handmade blanket and flowers from my friend, Abby!

 

 



Week 34 - Tentative Delivery Date!

I am now 34 weeks and 2 days into this roller coaster journey. This week has been one of many ups and downs. Today, however, has been full of positive energy and continued great results from Panama. And right now, that's all that really matters in life. My little girl is just 4 weeks away from being in my arms and I am more excited than ever!

Margarita had her bi-weekly ultrasound this morning and things continue to progress just as Dr. Vega would hope. The baby weighs 5lbs 5oz and is maintaining a very strong heart beat. At 34 weeks, her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. As of today, Dr. Vega anticipates the c-section will take place on Monday, March 4th (sorry Gaynor and Helen). Margarita will have another ultrasound on February 15th, and at that time, Dr. Vega will confirm the delivery date. EXCITED barely scratches the surface to describe the emotion I am feeling right now!!

Earlier this week, I completed my final Newborn Care class at Seattle's Swedish Medical Center. That too was an emotional experience sharing my story with a room full of strange new parents-to-be. Normally, I'm not shy, or at a loss for words, but I did feel a bit nervous meeting the group. There were Moms & Dads from all walks of life in attendance, including; 2 mixed-race couples, an Indian couple, a Spanish couple, an Asian couple, three Caucasian couples (one of whom were late teens or early twenties) and finally another single Dad, just like me, expecting his first child via a Surrogate. Race aside, we all shared a common dream and instantly, my nerves were washed away as this room of complete strangers quickly became friends, sharing some of the most intimate details of their lives; each one of us appreciating the other's story. It was a wonderful evening and I took home the prize for the best swaddle (in addition to so much support)!!

Travel plans to Panama are officially confirmed as are all the accommodation logistics for our stay. I will depart Seattle on Friday, March 1st with a return date pending on or about April 14th. Our return date will depend 100% upon the Canadian Embassy's ability to expeditiously process our DNA test, Citizenship Application and Passport Application. Once all the official documents are approved and in my hands, we will be free to return to the U.S. The Embassy estimates 4-5 weeks to process all of the paperwork. I suspect this will be our greatest hurdle, but remain optimistic that the bureaucratic processes in place will deliver. I've done absolutely everything possible to prepare, including a meeting with Citizenship & Immigration Canada this coming Monday in Vancouver.

During our stay, I've rented a 2 bedroom condo within a 10 minute walk to the hospital and the Canadian Embassy. We'll have all the comforts of home, including some special out-of-town guests who have graciously offered to travel to Panama all the way from Canada and the US to help out!! First to arrive will be my dear friend (aka big sister), Michelle, who will be visiting from Sarasota, Florida. Michelle is a registered nurse and will arrive 2-3 days after the baby's birth to assist me on the trip home from the hospital and all those sleepless nights ahead. Having a medical professional in house, will definitely help alleviate any anxiety or fear those first few days. Michelle keeps me calm and I am beyond grateful that she will be there for me, just as she always is! Michelle plans to stay 8 or 9 days and will likely overlap my other visitors by 2-3 nights.

On March 15th, my sister, Kim, and her husband, Tim, will arrive from Prince Edward Island. As parent's of two children, Kim and Tim are veteran parents and will provide me additional help and support until March 23rd. Kim is "Mommy extraordinaire", so I know we'll be in very capable hands. Tim is an awesome Dad, and rumor has it, very handy in the kitchen. Panama offers an abundance of fresh seafood and the local fish market is very close to the condo, so I'm looking forward to some interesting culinary dishes, between feedings, diaper changes and cat naps. I'm so happy to have family there with us and so very appreciative for every bit of support I've received over the past year. It's the only thing that got me through the longest days!

Finally, Margarita is doing great! Thanks to the great team of doctors, nurses and nutritionists, she continues to gain a healthy amount of weight and is taking very good care of herself as her regular labs, examinations and ultrasounds have been perfect. I've recently spent a lot of time contemplating ideas for a special gift to present her once the baby is born. This is certainly not a requirement, but something I very much want to do for her. I received lots of great ideas from friends, but ultimately decided to check with my doctor and the clinical psychologist who supports Margarita. And they all agreed it was a good idea to ask Margarita herself, so they did, and apparently, she has been saving for a laptop for her oldest son, who is now a senior in high school.

Margarita's goal and incentive for becoming a Surrogate, in addition to helping someone like me become a parent, was to provide a better life for her children. She specifically cited a goal of supporting her eldest son with his college education next fall. Now, in addition to paying his tuition, she is saving money to buy him a much needed laptop. She could have wished for something for herself, but instead, she continues to give to others. I've been so incredibly touched by this stranger; this beautiful woman, who has given up so much of her life over the past 9 months to give to others. She is a blessing and a great example of why doing acts of kindness for others is so incredibly important. I told her to save her money for something else...this one is on me.

 

HERE SHE IS...

Week 30 - Gaining weight at a rapid pace!!!

Yesterday (January 2, 2013) marked Week 30 in this epic journey. And today the Week 30 ultrasound was performed. I waited all day for the results. At times I thought my heart was going to jump right out of my chest as the waiting is the most difficult part for me. Finally, at 4:30pm the news arrived, and I'm very happy to report that everything continues to progress like clockwork, and both the baby and Margarita continue to thrive under Dr. Vega's care!

For the past few weeks, Margarita has been taking a protein supplement to support weight gain, and by all reports, it's working. On December 20th, the baby weighed 2 lbs 6 oz; today she weighs 3 lbs 5 oz...that's nearly a 1 lb gain in 2 weeks!! Margarita and the baby will be seen again on January 17th.

We are now on a 2 week cadence for check-ups, ultrasounds and various blood tests. I am beyond impressed with the care and attention we are receiving. I've vetted our treatment schedule and regime with friends and family in both Canada and the US who work in the medical field, and everyone is beyond impressed with the technology, care and attention provided by my team of physicians. Obviously, this gives me a great sense of relief and peace of mind being so far away!

By all reports, I am now only 8 weeks out from the delivery. Honestly, where did the time go??? Based on the baby's current size and growth rate, Dr. Vega anticipates he will perform the c-section sometime during the 38th week, which is roughly February 27th - March 6th. He will prolong the procedure for as long as possible to support growth in utero, but normally not beyond 39 weeks. I should receive confirmation of the date sometime in early February (normally 2-3 weeks in advance). At that time, I will make my final arrangements for travel and accommodation, both of which are tentative at this stage.

I recently put the finishing touches on the nursery, and I have to say, I am very happy with the outcome and decor. A huge thank you to my family, especially my Dad, who helped with lots of the finishing work. The room is very peaceful and decorated in sweet butterfly accents. I chose butterflies because many believe they are the symbol of transformation. Last year, I started this journey on merely a dream and great belief, and now 1 year later, I am just weeks from transforming that dream to my very own family. What started as a single cell, has conquered all odds and transformed into my little miracle.

And now I wait...to meet and love the greatest gift life could ever give...